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Dear love, I could feel your heartbeat on the other side of the door...you await my knock, I await your invitation...we are both at a stand still...for now...
...I slipped you a note through the mail exchange, letting you know I would be right back...I felt you begin to weep so I left my heart at the base of your frame as a sealed promise...look for me tomorrow beneath the new moon...
…I arose to a new day’s rays of light, with still thoughts on you so I inhaled deeply because to me, your presence is like a breath of fresh air and just the thought of you keeps me alive…
…I waited for you by the gates, you never showed…I left a tear drop by our secret place, look for me tomorrow maybe…I post-poned my hopes of forever because today proved to be uncertain…Please let me not walk this path alone, I just wanted to sit and hold your hand…we can try again tomorrow…maybe…
…I smiled in my sleep last night, basking on your silhouette in my dreams…you were there but I couldn’t hold you, you were under construction but I couldn’t mold you…every time I reached out my hand, distance was created…in my eyes you are already a masterpiece and I wouldn’t dare tamper with perfection…so I just marvel at your benevolence until I stop dreaming…wait for me, I will soon close my eyes again…
…I stood in the rain, trying to feel the pain of the wind but, all I could do was smile…reflecting on the many nights we would dance around and cry out to God in thanks for the outpour…secretly, I was also thanking Him for you…even now, just when I think you know everything, there are still things needed to be revealed…I wonder if you were thanking Him for me too…I hope so…
…I never felt this way about anyone, who knew knowing love on such an intimate level could be so gratifying…when you held me in your arms afterward, I felt like I was laying on a hammock made of roses…be careful of the thorns my love…I could write a million loves songs off the edge of the moon on this moment…this feeling…this…right…now…with you…
…I could taste your kisses becoming more bittersweet as the tomorrow’s were retiring into yesterdays but I tried to block it out of my memory every time because the way your eyes would smile seemed so heavenly, it got the best of me and soon enough what we shared would all too soon become a test to me as I wondered where you were when you weren’t next to me…your assurance to me having nothing to worry about failed in trying to cease my doubt because your lack of communication led me to worry about your whereabouts…maybe I should just reflect on the days of our innocence together and take little strides in working on what we still have in hopes of not adding to the strain but the question yet to be answered still remains…where are you? Je ne sais pas…
…I had a dream last night that it was all over; color me in despair because anything else would be considered a lie…
…I felt you were pulling away, I could feel your distance in my heart so I tried to deflect the sting from your cold shoulder by wrapping my precious keep safe of our more joyful memories in a fleece. I don’t understand, you used to lay into me and now you just lay next to me and it’s becoming more and more apparent that I’ve fallen victim to a beautiful disaster and from that I myself am turning into a mess. Dear Lord, cease this nightmare from continuing…
…I waited for you once more by our secret place in an attempt to repair what damage has been done, you never showed. It’s pretty obvious where we stand now is a result of a love that once was now depleting and soon will reconcile itself back to oblivion. I left my last farewell to you in the pond where we first discovered each other. Do you even care how hard this is for me to have to let you go? Everything has taken a turn for the worse, even the ripples in the water do not dance anymore and anything that possessed an ounce of life has now come to a final rest. Your lack of follow through in regard to my persistence has shown me what I was missing the entire time…next time I fall in love, it will be grounded on a more solid foundation but first there must be true solidarity in myself…
Merci beaucoup my love and adieu
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