Something I just wrote like now...

Over time
I became acquainted with many "right nows" and "in the moments"
But
I grew up with forever
Swore to the grave
We would always remain for whatever
Even if we weren't together
And no matter where the distance pulled us
He always had my mind
Just stuck right there in the part of my membrane
When I needed a visual look back at a smile to keep me sane
Forever knew his purpose
So it was there where he remained
See
He was always on mind
And when he would physically return back to me
We would sit and reflect on our last time
Together that is
Just shooting the breeze
Restitching the open wounds of the fabric of our lives
Until we finally caught up with the zzzzzzzz
Waking up to ponder things like
What if serenades were more than just melodies of passion
What if they adapted more depth?
Well
I didn't know there was anything deeper than the heart
And adding to it a few mere harmonic notes would only express
What could be seen from an ocean view
Turning sea deep into knee deep when we finally uncover the truth
And gazing about the Amistad that enslaved the pride of our people
All people
And dressing them in chains right up to the present time
To show that although we have come a mighty long way
And with all these accomplishments
We are still so far behind
Bottles my mind
What if every answer that took a life's worth of thinking could be simplified and figured
In the pulse of one single heart beat?
Or
Who else in the world of everyday living
Is taking time out of their ever-flowing lives
To sit and ponder such things as these?
The time is right now
And I'm laying on a mountain of grass
Just shooting the breeze
Catching some zzzzzz
And feeling at ease
With forever...

Free Write As Always...

I jumped head first into a sea of unforgettable memories
You were nowhere to be seen
Maybe I was never looking for you
And somehow
The disposition of not thinking about of you made you cross my mind
And here you are
I should really stop doing that
I used to have this curse of talking people up
Now with you apparently
Just the thought sent you my way
And here we are
I mean
Don't take it personally
But we both are aware that
I have a dirty mind
Filled with cluttered thinking that distracts me
Distracts me from the reality of facing what I feel for you
I wonder if it may be pity
I'm sure your picture is just buried under those pile of clothes
I had been meaning to tend to for some time now...
Yeah, just look over there in that corner in search of yourself
As I plot my escape out of the awkward conversation
We seem to keep engaging ourselves into
I'm through with it
And kinda sorta really getting sick of you
Or maybe I'm just sick of me
Sick of the me that insists on dealing with you
Even though I only end up disappointed in the end
Oh now I remember what I did with your picture
I made it into toilet tissue
So when loving you became an issue
I knew just what to do to rid me of your foolishness
Get the drift?
Take this last roll and a truths and be on your way
And please vow never to come back
Not even if you happen to cross my mind again...

Free Write @ 5:25am

I would invite you in
But
I'm in the process of renovating
See because
There is this hole in the wall
This hole
That speaks
Funny how it sounds just like you
Sometimes it cries
And surprisingly
It sounds just like me
It pleads in desperation
To be mended
And rid of the past
Unfortunately
Not even the strength in my tears
Can restore what has been broken
So
I'm giving in and calling a professional
To finally shut this hole in the wall up
For good
And restore he what order has been lost
For so long
That hole is annoying
And pointless
All it reflects on is the last time
You remember the last time
When you were here
Even when I try and forget
I am reminded every time I walk past that hole in the wall
It holds secrets
Many secrets from lies you told
And it reminds me in your voice
Of how foolish I was to believe
I'm sick of the constant reminder
That you were here
You know
That hole in the wall
Holds conversations with me
Asking, "is that a birth mark on the side of your face"
It mocks me
I reply, "it is a mark birth by hatred raised up in an insecure boy that never fully developed into a real man"
It calls out to me in the middle of the night
"Get me another drink you sad excuse for a woman"
It taunts me
Because
Every time I encounter this hole in the wall
I am reminded of how you distorted a happy home
Truthfully speaking
I am reluctant to invite you back in
In fear of you befriending
That which makes this place unbearable
And find you retreating to your wicked ways
And I
Mourning the failure at your next attempt
To subdue your spiteful place
And begin to manifest another abstract masterpiece upon my face
And my soul has grown way past weary
Of enduring your fists of fury
I am well prepared for this moment
So
I shouldn't be too worried though
I made sure to change the locks
No longer do you hold the keys to my heart
But
In the event that you do
Indeed make it past the doors
I will be ready
And invite you with open arms
With your favorite drink in my hand
And my blade of glory behind me
So that you may drown with your bittersweet misery
And poor taste in cheap liquor
Or just fall victim to a fatal mistake
It's all fair game now
Rest assured
If you ever get back in
You won't leave whole
You will die in this house of nothing
You built with your own two hands
And I
I will feel no guilt
I will search out a way to redeem myself
Maybe I could fill your remains
In that hole in the wall
Shutting it up for good
And bask in the joy of silence
Finally mended
At peace
And at ease
That would be a lot cheaper than calling in a professional
Oh, I'm sorry
Are you sure you would like to come in?