POEM #31

I OFTEN WONDER WHAT THE HEART OF GOD LOOKS LIKE
MAYBE HE HAS THAT HEART OF GOLD
OR MAYBE IT'S A COLOR YET TO BE ADMIRED
BY ANY HUMAN EYE
ALL I KNOW IS
I'M IN THERE
SOMEWHERE
AND THERE IS A SPACE FOR
EVERYONE
PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE
WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH HIM
AWAITS
AND A MORE FULFILLING FUTURE
SITS IN ANTICIPATION
I FEEL
IT MUST NOT BE EASY HAVING A HEART
LIKE HIS
REGARDLESS OF SHAPE, FORM, OR FASHION
IT MUST BE DETRIMENTAL
BEARING THE GREIVIANCE
OF WHAT THIS WORLD
VICTIMIZES AND MANIPULATES
AND GOES ABOUT LIFE
AS IF THEIR LIVES
ARE THEIR OWN
I PONDER HOW HE GRIEF IS EXPRESSED
MAYBE THROUGH RAIN
HIS TEARS FROM HEAVEN
MUST MAKE THE RAIN FALL
AND THE MORE HE WEEPS
OCEANS ARE CONSUMED
BUT EVEN
IN THE MIDST OF STORMS
HE CALLS THEM TO CALM
OH WHAT A HEART
IT MUST TAKE
TO BE AS FORGIVING AS HE IS
EVEN IN THE MIDST
OF MY INSECURITIES
WANTS AND DESIRES
DOWNFALLS OR PITY PARTIES
LEAVING ME FEELING LIKE I'M WORTHLESS
ASSURES ME
THAT I'M
I'M WORTH IT
AND I WAS CREATED FOR
PURPOSE
I FIND MYSELF WONDERING
HOW PERFECT A LOVE MUST BE
TO GIVE A PERFECT SACRIFICE
FOR IMPERFECTION LIKE ME
I OFTEN WONDER HOW DEEP IS THE DEPTH OF GOD'S FORGIVENESS
TO THROW OUT MY SINS
AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST
JUST HOW FAR IS THE EAST FROM THE WEST
NORTH FROM THE SOUTH
HOW DOES ONE CARE THAT MUCH
I WONDER
WHY DOES HE LOVE ME ANYWAY?
WHY INVEST TIME IN SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T COMPLETELY PUT HIM FIRST
LIKE I SHOULD
WHY ME???
I THINK ABOUT THE CROSS
THINK ABOUT THE COST
PICTURING HIS NAIL PIERCED HANDS
AND REMEMBERING THE BLOOD SHED
JUST FOR ME
THOUGH
I FEEL SO WORTHLESS
HE REMINDS ME
THAT I'M WORTH IT
AND I WAS CREATED FOR
PURPOSE
FORGIVES AND TAKES ME
FOR WHO I AM
I WONDER
WHAT THE VOICE OF GOD IS LIKE
JUST HOW SWEET
HOW STILL
HOW NOTICABLE
THE DISTINCTION
JUST FOR ME
JUST FOR US
HOW HE KNOWS US SO WELL
TO SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE
THERE ARE SO MANY LANGUAGES
AND SEND COMFORT
OH HOW COMFORT IS A DESPERATION
WHEREVER THERE IS A NEED
FOR ONE TO MEET THE NEEDS
HE MEETS THOSE NEED
AND ONLY REQUIRES
SIMPLE OBEDIENCE
AND A HEART FOR HIM
I THINK ABOUT
WHAT THE FRIENDSHIP OF GOD IS LIKE
WHY BEFRIEND
SOMEONE LIKE ME?
TELL ME THE TRUTH
CORRECT ME
AND BLESS ME
ALL AT THE SAME TIME
AND TELLS ME I CAN PUT
MY TRUST IN HIM
AND CAST ALL MY CARES
UPON HIM
BECAUSE HE CARES THAT MUCH
FOR ME
AND EVEN WHEN I BETRAY HIM
AND PLAY TAG WITH THE WORLD
LEAVE HIS SIDE
HIDE MYSELF FROM
HIS TRUTH HIS WORD
UNTIL I'M DYING ON THE INSIDE
FROM LACK OF SPIRITUAL FEEDING
LEAVING ME WITH A FEELING
LIKE I'M WORTHLESS
BUT YOU HOLD ME
WHILE I'M YET
AT YOUR FEET LORD
CRYING
HEAD DOWN
IN SHAME
YOU LIFT MY HEAD
AND REMIND ME
THAT I'M WORTH IT
AND TO KEEP MY EYES
FIXED ON THE PROMISES
WITH MY NAME ON THEM
AND THAT YOU LOVE ME
OH WHAT A LOVE IS THIS
A LOVE
THAT IS
EVERLASTING
EVER-KNOWING
EVER-SHOWING
AND HELPS ME
TO BE
EVER-GROWING
I NOW WONDER
IF I LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIM
IF MY LIGHT HAS DIMMED
IF MY HEART WEEPS LIKE HIS
IF MY FRIENDSHIP CAN EVEN COMPARE
IF THE LOVE I GIVE IS PURE
HE KNOWS
HE LOVES
HE CARES
FOR ME
TO BE A PRESENT HELP
EVEN AS THIS IS BEING WRITTEN
OH WHAT A HEART...