Just Glad To Be Writing Again...

never been a fan of black wine
but your mind tastes so divine
i wanna sip your secrets
and unfold a piece you
that lingers behind closed doors
unseen to outside eyes
but it's me
you take in cordially
and although
the bottle is 3/4 a memory
no effect becomes me
your revelation soothes my tastebuds
and sobers my emotions
in a state never reached before
in this way
what's wrong with you
what's wrong with me
what's right about this?
i know
it's getting late
it's getting too late
in the game for my heart
to endure the same
as i have before
i now understand
what that did to me
and i don't want it anymore
why you gotta be here?
why you gotta be here
what is drawing you to me
what is drawing me to this
beside me
beside me is a box
a box
where my heart is
because
i feel
wearing it on my sleeve
would bear too much of me
and soon
everyone would just walk away
like the events that happened
on yesterday
and
it isn't strong enough
to take on the low blows
brought on by the traps
of woes i set for myself
in the past
thinking if i pursued more
the something i want to happen
will and actually last
but my tears leave unwanted scars
so i wear this mask
hoping that someone
would glance
and change the channel
but
the world is watching
everyone is watching
watching
needing
wanting me
but i'm afraid
afraid that some days
i will never allow myself
the chance
the chance to just stop
and take the fresh breath of air
graced to me everyday
by my Heavenly Father
and just fizzle at the flame
when He should be my #1 desire
putting my full trust in Him
and allowing His word
to take me higher
but i'm afraid
and He says "don't be"
i'm afraid he may hurt me
He says
"he's from me"
that should give me peace
but
i'm as uneasy as pond
invaded by the pebble stone
i long for day he finds his favor
within me
but for some reason
i feel sad
yet safer
alone
and to give all of me
without the peace
of knowing if he is for me
will only further
take me out of my
zone
so
i sip the last of what you got
with caution
because i do want more
but what is it i deserve
they say
a heart like mine
is hard to find
these days
i guess that
means
i need to bury it
a bit in Him
so
when you're ready
for the challenge
you will seek His face
and in turn
search for me
leave the message
in the bottle
i know there's still
something inside
i just wanna take in
the last you have to say
before i give myself
again...

Something I just wrote like now...

Over time
I became acquainted with many "right nows" and "in the moments"
But
I grew up with forever
Swore to the grave
We would always remain for whatever
Even if we weren't together
And no matter where the distance pulled us
He always had my mind
Just stuck right there in the part of my membrane
When I needed a visual look back at a smile to keep me sane
Forever knew his purpose
So it was there where he remained
See
He was always on mind
And when he would physically return back to me
We would sit and reflect on our last time
Together that is
Just shooting the breeze
Restitching the open wounds of the fabric of our lives
Until we finally caught up with the zzzzzzzz
Waking up to ponder things like
What if serenades were more than just melodies of passion
What if they adapted more depth?
Well
I didn't know there was anything deeper than the heart
And adding to it a few mere harmonic notes would only express
What could be seen from an ocean view
Turning sea deep into knee deep when we finally uncover the truth
And gazing about the Amistad that enslaved the pride of our people
All people
And dressing them in chains right up to the present time
To show that although we have come a mighty long way
And with all these accomplishments
We are still so far behind
Bottles my mind
What if every answer that took a life's worth of thinking could be simplified and figured
In the pulse of one single heart beat?
Or
Who else in the world of everyday living
Is taking time out of their ever-flowing lives
To sit and ponder such things as these?
The time is right now
And I'm laying on a mountain of grass
Just shooting the breeze
Catching some zzzzzz
And feeling at ease
With forever...

Free Write As Always...

I jumped head first into a sea of unforgettable memories
You were nowhere to be seen
Maybe I was never looking for you
And somehow
The disposition of not thinking about of you made you cross my mind
And here you are
I should really stop doing that
I used to have this curse of talking people up
Now with you apparently
Just the thought sent you my way
And here we are
I mean
Don't take it personally
But we both are aware that
I have a dirty mind
Filled with cluttered thinking that distracts me
Distracts me from the reality of facing what I feel for you
I wonder if it may be pity
I'm sure your picture is just buried under those pile of clothes
I had been meaning to tend to for some time now...
Yeah, just look over there in that corner in search of yourself
As I plot my escape out of the awkward conversation
We seem to keep engaging ourselves into
I'm through with it
And kinda sorta really getting sick of you
Or maybe I'm just sick of me
Sick of the me that insists on dealing with you
Even though I only end up disappointed in the end
Oh now I remember what I did with your picture
I made it into toilet tissue
So when loving you became an issue
I knew just what to do to rid me of your foolishness
Get the drift?
Take this last roll and a truths and be on your way
And please vow never to come back
Not even if you happen to cross my mind again...

Free Write @ 5:25am

I would invite you in
But
I'm in the process of renovating
See because
There is this hole in the wall
This hole
That speaks
Funny how it sounds just like you
Sometimes it cries
And surprisingly
It sounds just like me
It pleads in desperation
To be mended
And rid of the past
Unfortunately
Not even the strength in my tears
Can restore what has been broken
So
I'm giving in and calling a professional
To finally shut this hole in the wall up
For good
And restore he what order has been lost
For so long
That hole is annoying
And pointless
All it reflects on is the last time
You remember the last time
When you were here
Even when I try and forget
I am reminded every time I walk past that hole in the wall
It holds secrets
Many secrets from lies you told
And it reminds me in your voice
Of how foolish I was to believe
I'm sick of the constant reminder
That you were here
You know
That hole in the wall
Holds conversations with me
Asking, "is that a birth mark on the side of your face"
It mocks me
I reply, "it is a mark birth by hatred raised up in an insecure boy that never fully developed into a real man"
It calls out to me in the middle of the night
"Get me another drink you sad excuse for a woman"
It taunts me
Because
Every time I encounter this hole in the wall
I am reminded of how you distorted a happy home
Truthfully speaking
I am reluctant to invite you back in
In fear of you befriending
That which makes this place unbearable
And find you retreating to your wicked ways
And I
Mourning the failure at your next attempt
To subdue your spiteful place
And begin to manifest another abstract masterpiece upon my face
And my soul has grown way past weary
Of enduring your fists of fury
I am well prepared for this moment
So
I shouldn't be too worried though
I made sure to change the locks
No longer do you hold the keys to my heart
But
In the event that you do
Indeed make it past the doors
I will be ready
And invite you with open arms
With your favorite drink in my hand
And my blade of glory behind me
So that you may drown with your bittersweet misery
And poor taste in cheap liquor
Or just fall victim to a fatal mistake
It's all fair game now
Rest assured
If you ever get back in
You won't leave whole
You will die in this house of nothing
You built with your own two hands
And I
I will feel no guilt
I will search out a way to redeem myself
Maybe I could fill your remains
In that hole in the wall
Shutting it up for good
And bask in the joy of silence
Finally mended
At peace
And at ease
That would be a lot cheaper than calling in a professional
Oh, I'm sorry
Are you sure you would like to come in?

A Post of Thanks and Gratitude

To any and everyone who has become a follower or is planning on becoming one or someone who has just stopped by to see what I'm up to on here, I graciously thank you all from my heart!

You all mean a lot to me and I feel so very humbled and honored to share my talent with such wonderful people.

I ask that you continue to support me and my work by telling others about me and/or giving them the link to my blog so they can see for themselves.

If anyone would like to do a collab piece in the near future, I'm so in!

Peace, Love, and props to my Father above,

Brit :)

FREE WRITE @ 10:19am...

I love it

When we're slowing dancing on a busy street

Whenever I'm with you

I begin to feel

So invincible

So fearless

And care free

Tonite

I'm up in your arms

Trying to find myself

But

The dependency is weakening my spirit

And what I know to do is right

Is the choice I would

Much rather pass along to another

See

The intent is

Not to bruise your heart

But

Doctor's orders tell me to

Take two doses of leaving you alone

And see how I feel in the morning

Because he knew one dose

Would only leave me leaping

Right back into the heart of a relapse

Causing me to be molded into a repeat offender

And violate my parole

ORDER IN THE COURT!

Here I sit chained at the wrist by emotional lock down

It seems as if they don't trust me or something

But

I'm too busy becoming enthralled

When I see my baby go and speak in my defense

ORDER IN THE COURT!

The opposition keeps trying

To manipulate the situation

And no one seems to notice but me

I can't take this anymore

OBJECTION!

You can't do this to this object of my affection

OBJECTION!

He may come off as a bad habit

But

His kisses are like perfection

OBJECTION!

ORDER IN THE COURT!

It appears my actions are leading to no avail

Only further enraging the tigress

Dressed in all black

With a vicious appetite for

Devouring hearts like mine

Either that or

The judge must an old love

Who never fully got over

So she monopolizes her authority

Through an opportunistic approach

Pushing me off as the culprit

But

It is fear that begets her

As she notices the determination in my soul

And ponders

Whether or not I am daring enough

To leap over that which

Separates me from the public

Only to land right in your arms

Where I truly wanna be

Proving to her finally that

Reconciliation of any kind is out of the question

But

I was brainwashed to believe that

You're no good for me

And the jury is nowhere in my favor

So there really is no need to plead insanity

Because exhibit A exposes my membrane

To be clean as a make up hidden blemish

No need for lies anyway

We all know the truth

I love this man

And if that makes me guilty

Well then

Just grant me my time to serve

Hand me my papers

And lead me to my palace

Behind bars

Suite solitary if I do request

I look forward to the peace

I'll need to not be disturbed

When I write to my love

You think you have won

Yet

You all stare at my smile with confusion

You wanted order in this court

And all I wanted was him

Your meaningless victory

Was nothing more than a facade

My justice has been served...

COLLABO PIECE #1

There is this guy of who I have been friends with for a few years now and he is an awesome poet as well. His name is Christopher Cole and from time to time we should share our poetry with each other and either he or I would randomly send an email or text with something and look for the other to add to it...this piece is the result of one of those moments lol...Enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Freer than the rainbow

That lucks my soul

After the storm

More fulfillment than

The smell of rain

Pouring into my being

Adding to my whole

There my heart finds

Warmth within the

Folds of the pot of gold

The riches only the unwealthy can appreciate

Duplicate the change through time

From the depths of dusk

To the glowing sun shine

I smile because I feel complete

There's no better feeling...

Sharing in the like minds

Of the unmaterialistic

And finding security

In life's lessons and comfort

Nature's authority

Upholds integrity like a bed of roses

The organic smell manufactured

But man didn't factor in that originality

Of individuality

In its simplicity

Possesses the power to maintain our complexity

Complexity

Where beauty always takes form

Away from the norms of everyday life

This being is a free-spirited element

Only requirement is to feel

And be allowed liberty to simply be

Quickly flee

From the captivity

Of the politically correct

Purposefully long

To be purposely wrong

As long as it feels like the right

Direction

With constant inspection

For personal inflection of voice

My voice allows wrong to be right

Makes the piercing into the new day

Feel like a sleepless night

Allows my weakest link

To conquer in might

In spite

Of what I have been made to believe

Because what I see

Is a new in me

See

I shape perspective

With the touch of my words

My microphone is my life

My stand is my foundation

My amp rocks the world

A thousand times before i even speak

Piercing past the miles

Into infinity

This is me

Listen up

As I sing to you.

FREE WRITE #3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THERE'S A PATH OF SIMPLICITY I'M SEARCHING FOR
BUT TO GET THERE I HAVE TO OVERCOME THIS COMPLEX ANXIETY
OF BEING TOO NERVOUS TO NOTICE WHEN MY BOLDNESS COMES FORTH
SO I'M STUCK IN CONFUSION
WHILE CLARITY IS WHISPERING IN MY EAR
ENCOURAGING ME NOT TO SILENCE MY SPEECH
BUT I'M A REBEL
IN SEARCH OF A CAUSE
SO I CHOKE ON MY OWN ARROGANCE
ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M WRONG
AND MAKE WASTE OF ALOTTED TIME
BECAUSE I'D RATHER REMAIN A SOUL LOST
THAN SEEK OUT HELP FROM ANOTHER
AND LIKE THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
I PUT ON THE MASK OF THE LONE RANGER
BECAUSE SOME DAYS I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE DEALING
AND WHEN I DO DECIDE TO
SOMEONE TELLS ME I'M DEALING WRONG
AND I'M BACK TO ME
SO THIS OVERLAPPING BATTLE OF COMPARISON BETWEEN ME, MYSELF, AND I
IS CAUSING ME TO THINK THAT I'M LACKING IN SOMETHING
DIRECTION
I LOOKED TO MY OWN CONSCIOUSNESS FOR PROTECTION
AND ENDED UP A CAPTIVE TO WAYWARD THOUGHTS
NOW THE CHAINS ARE BECOMING ALL TOO FAMILIAR
AND IT SHOWS I HAVE DEFINITELY BEEN HERE BEFORE TOO MANY TIMES
YEP
SO THIS SIMPLE PATH
REALLY ONLY REQUIRES A SIMPLE MIND
BUT MY DUMB DESIRE TO ENGAGE IN MY DEEPNESS
MAKES IT HARD TO FIND
SO I FIGURED I'D JUST SIT ON ROCK OF PAST REGRETS
PITYING OVER MY SHOULDA, COULDA, WOULDAS
IN HOPES OF A RIGHT WAY TAPPING ME ON THE SHOULDER
AND SHOWING ME HOW TO LOOSEN MYSELF
FROM THE ENTRAPMENT OF MYSELF
THAT RESULTED FROM ME NOT TRUSTING MYSELF
WHEN THE IRONY IS
I TRUSTED NO ONE BUT MYSELF
AND IT'S BECAUSE OF MYSELF THAT I CAN'T FIND THE PATH
AND NOW I CAN'T STAND MYSELF
MAYBE I WILL JUST FIND A ROAD LESS TRAVEL

FREE WRITE #2

I love it when a friend can help me dissect my own work...after going over this piece a million times and finally just sitting down and dissecting it with the fabulous Ms. Sasha Brown, this poem revealed more about myself than I could imagine, almost like it was preparing me for a season I was entering into...LOVE THOSE MOMENTS!!! Enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ENTRAPPED IN AN INSATIABLE MOMENT
CARE TO JOIN ME
LET'S TOAST TO NEVER BEING FREE AGAIN
REFLECT ON WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE
WHEN WE HAD THE POWER TO CHOOSE
AND WHERE THAT LEFT US
SO EXTEND YOUR ARM TO THE FUTURE
NOW DRINK UP
AND MAKE SURE YOU GRAB YOUR EXTRA SET OF CHAINS
THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EXPERIENCE
NOW RELEASE
FEEL THAT
THAT PULL BETWEEN TRUSTING
BUT NOT KNOWING
AND ACTING OUT IN NONCHALANCE
SIMPLY NOT CARING
HOW DOES THAT FEEL
TAKE NOT BACK THIS MOMENT
AND DARE NOT TO RELIVE IT
WHY
BECAUSE THE PAST IS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD
AND I'M IN SEARCH OF A NEW MELODY
SO HARMONIOUS
THAT AN EXPLANATION WOULD SERVE AS A SIGN OF DISRESPECT
SO LET'S MAKE IT
YES
YOU AND I
JUST LIKE WE PLANNED YESTERDAY
THE TIME IS NOW
RIGHT NOW
IS ANXIETY SEEPING THROUGH YOUR VEINS
TROUBLE NOT YOUR HEART
THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR
I PROMISE
CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO LOVE YOU
LIKE THE UNIVERSE HAS BEEN RECREATED
HERE
HOLD TIGHT OF MY HAND
WE CAN RUN INTO THIS TOGETHER
AND WHEN WE FINALLY ARRIVE
WE CAN SETTLE OURSELVES AT THE EDGE OF THE MOON
I WILL SERENADE YOU INTO A DREAM-LIKE REALITY
AND WHEN YOU HAVE ARRIVED
THERE I WILL MEET YOU
HOW DOES THAT SOUND
WE WILL PAST THE TIME
IN EACH OTHERS ARMS
AND SLEEP ON A HAMMOCK OF MUSIC NOTES
FEELING OUR HEARTBEATS ON ONE ACCORD
NOW HOW DOES THAT FEEL
NICE RIGHT
SO ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE
MY LOVE

QUICK PLAY ON WORDS...

THOUGHTS OF YESTERDAY
SPORADIC
PONDERING WHICH WAY TO FEEL
ERRATIC
LOST IN YOUR WORDS
FANATIC
FANATICALLY
YOU ARE MY SHINING STAR
AND I HOPE YOU NEVER GO AWAY
MAGNETICALLY
DRAWN TO BE WHEREVER YOU ARE
AND GIVE YOU A REASON TO STAY
BUT YOU'RE GONE
I STILL SEE YOU
ILLUSION
THAT KISS WITH YOUR SCENT
RESONATING FROM MY CHEEK
FOLLOWED BY A DISAPPEARING ACT
CONFUSION
HOPING YOU CAN FEEL MY VIBES IN THE WIND
AND FIND YOUR WAY BACK TO ME
MELODIC FUSION
STILL TODAY
I FIND MYSELF WALKING IN MY CLOUD OF DREAMS
MAKING SENSE OF WHAT WE ARE
DILIGENCE
OVERCOMING THE THOUGHT OF THIS NOT BEING
RESILIENCE
KNOWING THAT I HAVE BEEN ALLOTTED ONE MORE DAY
ANTICIPATION
AWAITING TO FEEL YOUR HEART AGAIN
SENSATION
AND BEGIN AGAIN SOMETHING ANEW
CREATION