Free write some day ago...

Hard to believe

What once was a shattered heart

Is now

A mosaic of wonder

See

I’ve been reconstructed

And made better than before

This diamond in the rough

Is finally getting her shine

Though it took much time

But

You would agree that the finish product

Was worth the wait

Alas, here I stand

Abstract

Complex

Accentedd with

Fathomless beauty

Tickling your fancy

For just a moment

It’s really all I need

Marvel at my grandeur

And

Journey with me

Place your hands upon my build

Feel upon my mold

Interpret my weakness

Wrap your imagination

Around my strength

Call me beautiful

Call me a masterpiece

See me as priceless

And timeless

Allowing me the honor

To put you in a state of serenity

As you gaze upon my piercing eyes

Looking at me now

It’s hard to believe

I was at one time

Just a pile of confusion

Then one day

Love poured herself

Out of the sun

and into my creation

The brokenness

Now serve as pillars

Holding my head high

My time is now

Look at me

There is a change

This change

Exuberates

Pain turned perseverance

Captured in stillness

Raptured

In eloquence

But please

Do not be fooled

By what you see

For I am merely

A work in progress

And at any time

I can fall

For the

Nice eyes

Drop dead smile

Landing me into

The wrong hands

Only to be swept back

Into that pile

Of nothingness

Over in the corner

Until damage control

Arrives again…

Take a picture

It lasts longer...

just a titch of inspiration I guess...

journeying alongside

my shadow

I noticed something

something

that made my stride stop

tempted my eyes

to drop

as I gazed upon

a small pile of

flower petals

fellowshipping by the

school of detox

that housed

the legendary streets of hardknocks

moments were passing

and in instant

I embarked

on a new mystery

me thinks

me thinks

someone was falling in love

or

the thought ran across the mind

I wanted to walk away

but

a tug in my heart wouldn't let me

so now the investigation begins...

was it the petal that laid

so gracefully at the top

that held the final decision

or is it the one

you know that one

buried beneath the surface

as if holding onto the matter

of the heart

like the greatest untold secret

what was the answer

"he loves me"

"she loves me not"

maybe this was just a way

a way

to leave one's mark

just to say

I was here

you never knew me

and

may never come to know me

but you will know

I was here

and now I know

that these petals

serve more than

just a coincidental purpose

i suppose

like the concreted heart

that birthed out a rose

and just when

I thought there was

more to covey

the wind swept you all away

I guess it was

the motivation needed

to carry on with my day

so with that

I took a deep breath in

sigh...

sad face...

it seems I will never

come to know the truth

so I will pack up

my curiosity

and try to make up

for wasting time...

Just Glad To Be Writing Again...

never been a fan of black wine
but your mind tastes so divine
i wanna sip your secrets
and unfold a piece you
that lingers behind closed doors
unseen to outside eyes
but it's me
you take in cordially
and although
the bottle is 3/4 a memory
no effect becomes me
your revelation soothes my tastebuds
and sobers my emotions
in a state never reached before
in this way
what's wrong with you
what's wrong with me
what's right about this?
i know
it's getting late
it's getting too late
in the game for my heart
to endure the same
as i have before
i now understand
what that did to me
and i don't want it anymore
why you gotta be here?
why you gotta be here
what is drawing you to me
what is drawing me to this
beside me
beside me is a box
a box
where my heart is
because
i feel
wearing it on my sleeve
would bear too much of me
and soon
everyone would just walk away
like the events that happened
on yesterday
and
it isn't strong enough
to take on the low blows
brought on by the traps
of woes i set for myself
in the past
thinking if i pursued more
the something i want to happen
will and actually last
but my tears leave unwanted scars
so i wear this mask
hoping that someone
would glance
and change the channel
but
the world is watching
everyone is watching
watching
needing
wanting me
but i'm afraid
afraid that some days
i will never allow myself
the chance
the chance to just stop
and take the fresh breath of air
graced to me everyday
by my Heavenly Father
and just fizzle at the flame
when He should be my #1 desire
putting my full trust in Him
and allowing His word
to take me higher
but i'm afraid
and He says "don't be"
i'm afraid he may hurt me
He says
"he's from me"
that should give me peace
but
i'm as uneasy as pond
invaded by the pebble stone
i long for day he finds his favor
within me
but for some reason
i feel sad
yet safer
alone
and to give all of me
without the peace
of knowing if he is for me
will only further
take me out of my
zone
so
i sip the last of what you got
with caution
because i do want more
but what is it i deserve
they say
a heart like mine
is hard to find
these days
i guess that
means
i need to bury it
a bit in Him
so
when you're ready
for the challenge
you will seek His face
and in turn
search for me
leave the message
in the bottle
i know there's still
something inside
i just wanna take in
the last you have to say
before i give myself
again...

Something I just wrote like now...

Over time
I became acquainted with many "right nows" and "in the moments"
But
I grew up with forever
Swore to the grave
We would always remain for whatever
Even if we weren't together
And no matter where the distance pulled us
He always had my mind
Just stuck right there in the part of my membrane
When I needed a visual look back at a smile to keep me sane
Forever knew his purpose
So it was there where he remained
See
He was always on mind
And when he would physically return back to me
We would sit and reflect on our last time
Together that is
Just shooting the breeze
Restitching the open wounds of the fabric of our lives
Until we finally caught up with the zzzzzzzz
Waking up to ponder things like
What if serenades were more than just melodies of passion
What if they adapted more depth?
Well
I didn't know there was anything deeper than the heart
And adding to it a few mere harmonic notes would only express
What could be seen from an ocean view
Turning sea deep into knee deep when we finally uncover the truth
And gazing about the Amistad that enslaved the pride of our people
All people
And dressing them in chains right up to the present time
To show that although we have come a mighty long way
And with all these accomplishments
We are still so far behind
Bottles my mind
What if every answer that took a life's worth of thinking could be simplified and figured
In the pulse of one single heart beat?
Or
Who else in the world of everyday living
Is taking time out of their ever-flowing lives
To sit and ponder such things as these?
The time is right now
And I'm laying on a mountain of grass
Just shooting the breeze
Catching some zzzzzz
And feeling at ease
With forever...

Free Write As Always...

I jumped head first into a sea of unforgettable memories
You were nowhere to be seen
Maybe I was never looking for you
And somehow
The disposition of not thinking about of you made you cross my mind
And here you are
I should really stop doing that
I used to have this curse of talking people up
Now with you apparently
Just the thought sent you my way
And here we are
I mean
Don't take it personally
But we both are aware that
I have a dirty mind
Filled with cluttered thinking that distracts me
Distracts me from the reality of facing what I feel for you
I wonder if it may be pity
I'm sure your picture is just buried under those pile of clothes
I had been meaning to tend to for some time now...
Yeah, just look over there in that corner in search of yourself
As I plot my escape out of the awkward conversation
We seem to keep engaging ourselves into
I'm through with it
And kinda sorta really getting sick of you
Or maybe I'm just sick of me
Sick of the me that insists on dealing with you
Even though I only end up disappointed in the end
Oh now I remember what I did with your picture
I made it into toilet tissue
So when loving you became an issue
I knew just what to do to rid me of your foolishness
Get the drift?
Take this last roll and a truths and be on your way
And please vow never to come back
Not even if you happen to cross my mind again...

Free Write @ 5:25am

I would invite you in
But
I'm in the process of renovating
See because
There is this hole in the wall
This hole
That speaks
Funny how it sounds just like you
Sometimes it cries
And surprisingly
It sounds just like me
It pleads in desperation
To be mended
And rid of the past
Unfortunately
Not even the strength in my tears
Can restore what has been broken
So
I'm giving in and calling a professional
To finally shut this hole in the wall up
For good
And restore he what order has been lost
For so long
That hole is annoying
And pointless
All it reflects on is the last time
You remember the last time
When you were here
Even when I try and forget
I am reminded every time I walk past that hole in the wall
It holds secrets
Many secrets from lies you told
And it reminds me in your voice
Of how foolish I was to believe
I'm sick of the constant reminder
That you were here
You know
That hole in the wall
Holds conversations with me
Asking, "is that a birth mark on the side of your face"
It mocks me
I reply, "it is a mark birth by hatred raised up in an insecure boy that never fully developed into a real man"
It calls out to me in the middle of the night
"Get me another drink you sad excuse for a woman"
It taunts me
Because
Every time I encounter this hole in the wall
I am reminded of how you distorted a happy home
Truthfully speaking
I am reluctant to invite you back in
In fear of you befriending
That which makes this place unbearable
And find you retreating to your wicked ways
And I
Mourning the failure at your next attempt
To subdue your spiteful place
And begin to manifest another abstract masterpiece upon my face
And my soul has grown way past weary
Of enduring your fists of fury
I am well prepared for this moment
So
I shouldn't be too worried though
I made sure to change the locks
No longer do you hold the keys to my heart
But
In the event that you do
Indeed make it past the doors
I will be ready
And invite you with open arms
With your favorite drink in my hand
And my blade of glory behind me
So that you may drown with your bittersweet misery
And poor taste in cheap liquor
Or just fall victim to a fatal mistake
It's all fair game now
Rest assured
If you ever get back in
You won't leave whole
You will die in this house of nothing
You built with your own two hands
And I
I will feel no guilt
I will search out a way to redeem myself
Maybe I could fill your remains
In that hole in the wall
Shutting it up for good
And bask in the joy of silence
Finally mended
At peace
And at ease
That would be a lot cheaper than calling in a professional
Oh, I'm sorry
Are you sure you would like to come in?

A Post of Thanks and Gratitude

To any and everyone who has become a follower or is planning on becoming one or someone who has just stopped by to see what I'm up to on here, I graciously thank you all from my heart!

You all mean a lot to me and I feel so very humbled and honored to share my talent with such wonderful people.

I ask that you continue to support me and my work by telling others about me and/or giving them the link to my blog so they can see for themselves.

If anyone would like to do a collab piece in the near future, I'm so in!

Peace, Love, and props to my Father above,

Brit :)